#MenAreTrash is a trashy hashtag!

Men Are Trash.

If you know me and half of what I’ve been through, you would know that I have more than enough reason to believe this statement to be true. I can support this hashtag with hardcore evidence and provide facts that would, even if you never experienced the trashiness of men, make you believe! I think I’ve endured just about enough to qualify me as deputy chairlady of the #MAT movement and had my fair share of dealing with toxic masculinity that uses patriarchy to abuse the authority that comes with the position.

I must admit that this hashtag is rather ambiguous and one of the most misunderstood, hence all the feels it invokes, and of course much expected retaliation from men who argue that “not all men are trash”. It seems that it has been hijacked by hurting woman to express their anger/disappointment when it comes to failed relationships. Used by bitter women with daddy issues in an attempt to bruise the egos of absent fathers in general.

This movement derailed so far off its intended course, it’s not even funny. I believe it was created by feminists to address issues relating to misogynistic men, patriarchy and rape culture, and the need to fight it- which is an honourable thing to do.  They have also succeeded in getting the attention of men nationwide but the thing I have a problem with is the fact that the message it conveys is not solving any problems. Instead, it creates and encourages even more friction between men and women.

It does however create a platform for women to be heard but sadly, no hashtag or online campaign will stop a man from raping, being trashy, abusing authority or being domineering.

Last week I posted a thread on my Facebook timeline which resulted in much controversy. The responses were overwhelming and I must say that I have a few feisty-mouse lady friends who have bigger balls than most men. The response that got my attention and inspired this post was from Shelley, She said:

Man-trashing needs to stop! So many men out there are undeserving of it.

This had me thinking about the men in my life who are undeservingly included in this generalization. Men who helped me clean up the mess after the “trash” was done being trashy.

I was also thinking of how hard our jobs as mothers will be, having to raise a boy in a society where he is being told that men are trash. I don’t want my son to be ashamed of being a man. I want him to look forward to being the provider of a family, a protector, a life partner and priest of a household. Yeah, from that you might gather that as a Christian I’m for the Godly order of patriarchy- where the man is head of the home. And I will teach my son that it is one of the many privileges he will enjoy as being a man, not forgetting the responsibility that comes with it. And while I’m telling him these things I pray to God that I’ll be able to point to my husband and say, “See how daddy does it!?”

We are already 534 words into this post, and it’s Monday… and you are still not sure where I’m going with this. Well, let me make it clear for you and wrap this up:

  • No, I’m not supporting the argument that “not all” men are trash, coz that would be me insinuating that some are. I also feel it’s weak and too apologetic!  We all do and say trashy things sometimes, it’s a human thing… not a man thing.
  • Hereby, I would like to encourage all men reading this to do some introspection (Do I represent my gender group well? Am I a good role model to the younger generation? Can I do better? Do I fall prey to toxic masculinity?) …and to once again remind them that they are NEEDED!
  • The purpose of the post is to share my sentiment that #MenAreNotTrash. And to challenge the women reading this to amplify the personal strengths of the men in their lives. Go ahead! Tell them what you love about them!!


Please have a look at what Shelley, has to say about this topic over at The Deal Is and have yourselves a lekker Monday.




  1. You are sooo amazing! I have thought this so many times but never said anything out of fear of being attacked your bravery inspires me


  2. Thank you Ruth for making me reflect on my husband and realise that I have a good man. Sometimes we only focus on the one negative thing our partner does and tend to harbor but reading last weeks post it made me appreciate him even more. He respects me and adores our daughter and I know he will be a great role model to our son on how to treat a women an all mankind. Much love


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